I have a benign essential tremor. It means I truly do serve the Lord with fear and trembling (psalm 2.11). It is completely misnamed as it doesn’t feel at all friendly or essential to who I am. In fact sometimes it is a ***** nuisance. Most of the time I don’t even notice it and I’ve got used to strangers asking me if I am nervous. When I am completely relaxed ie. comatosed it doesn’t show at all. My worst nightmare is going to a strange church and being handed a very full chalice to adminster, or finding that there is no lectern to put my sermon on.
I stopped asking ET to go home a long time ago and decided it wouldn’t prevent me from doing what I want to do. It was all part of me loving me for who I am. ET is not a disability and out of sheer bloody mindedness I don’t take beta blockers. When I stopped railing about it it stopped becoming a problem.
Today I am thanking God for my ET. I had a tricky pastoral visit to a self confessed pagan in one of our villages. I’d prayed before I went that we would find some common ground and we wouldn’t part thinking each other had horns or a forked tail. Once we had sorted out what we needed to, he offered me a cup of tea. (don’t panic) ‘Don’t overfill the cup’ I shout to the kitchen. He pops his head round the door, ‘ET? me too!’ ‘I was just about to ask if you would carry it because I can’t if it is a full cup!’
From that moment we relaxed in each others company and found alsorts of common ground. I stayed longer than I had intended and we parted friends.
So although it is a nuisance, thank you God for my ET.